Constantly see Penny Picker Steve and his sticky tape covered bucket

It doesn’t even matter if you’re in or outside the club, Penny Picker Steve and his scavenging duties will always find a way. Our dear friend Steve is definitely not a quitter, which might be why our drunken selves feel the need to contribute to his bucket as he patrols about in his Hi-Vis jacket. Nothing less than a local legend.

Fight to get served at the bar in Last Post

The consequence of putting a Wetherspoons pub in Southend Ladies and Gents. Get ready to challenge your fellow punters to being the most successful participant in making eye contact with the bar(wo)man. A desperate plea to secure your cheap drinks, but a battle well worth fighting.

The 2am commute from Mayhem to Talk/Chameleon

It happens. We’ve all been there. One minute you’re in Mayhem and everything’s great, and the next your friends have developed a sudden urge to adventure and explore the depths of Southend. Before you know it, you’re in Talk or Chameleon. No really guys, I’m sure work will appreciate my collection of durable hand stamps in the morning.

Do everything in your power to try to remove the stamp of shame

Which never seems to want to come off and somehow always manages to duplicate itself on to another part of your body by time you wake up the next morning. What kind of ink do they even put in these things?

Argue with your friends over whether room 1 or room 2 is better

Ah Mayhem, the things you do to us. The debate over room 1 or room 2 will always be evident, and it’s pretty much subjective to music taste. But for argument’s sake, room 1.

Trek through the high street in search for the nearest kebab shop

It always happens. You leave the club when you can dance no longer, step outside and someone suggests a kebab shop, to which nobody declines (obviously). Finding one however, is another matter, and you’ll probably have to ask a number of other drunken people if they know where one is, which they probably won’t. It’s all worth it in the end though, I can assure you.

Have intense drunken conversations with the homeless people in the high street

Stumbling out of Mayhem, Dick De Vigne’s or Basement to find yourself in the high street, surrounded by many potential new best friends. Well, at least you thought they were at the time. We all need someone to confide in when it comes to drunken problems though, right?

‘Lumo tonight?’

True Southend slang, something that wouldn’t make sense to 99% of people outside of our area, but to us is common lingo. A monthly event filled with glow sticks and vuvuzelas, of course well deserving of its own nickname. Nice one Chameleon.

Spot at least 10 people in the club that you know are younger than 18

It’s crowded enough in here as it is, we do not need you and your underage craftyness clogging up our legal aged grooving space. How do you all get in anyway?

Know at least one person who’s had to use the SOS bus

Some water, a sick bowl, a plaster… The SOS bus has saved at least one of our loved ones at some point. It’s these little things us Southenders take for granted.







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